


Armed Forces

by robron_til_the_end



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: AU, Army, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-05-06 07:37:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14637161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robron_til_the_end/pseuds/robron_til_the_end
Summary: Robert is a newly promoted Captain in the British army. Aaron is a private, trying to work out how to get on with his new boss. In the close quarters of the barracks, can they possibly keep their developing relationship under wraps? Things spiral, as they tend to do with these two involved!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So @thisdamndesire prompted me with an army AU for robron, and it took hold of my imagination and wouldn't let go. And we all know I love a good AU! I'm not going to push myself for updates, so it might be slower than my previous speed, but I hope someone enjoys it!
> 
> Notes for the story: I’m inventing barracks, and the international events that I’m going to mention will be entirely fictional as will the barracks, and probably army procedure, based in no way in reality. I basically want to tell the story in the most dramatic way for Aaron and Robert, and reality is second to that! Jack is still alive and with Diane in this AU and Gordon never abused Aaron here either.
> 
> Phew! Lets get on with it!

Robert looked around his small poky office, feeling happy that he’d finally made it. He’d got the promotion and was now in charge of a small group of soldiers, while they were on exercise in the UK. Robert turned to see the Major coming through the open office door and Robert gave a salute and he nodded.

“Congratulations Captain,” he said, looking tired but happy. “You should fit in wonderfully here.”

“Thank you sir,” Robert said, trying to not outwardly react to the praise.

“You’re young, but your reports have all been impeccable so far,” Major Hunter said. “Welcome to the team. The lads are a good lot,” he said. “You shouldn’t have too much trouble.”

“Any criminal records?” Robert said, earning a sharp look. “I only ask because I’d prefer to know who the troublemakers are in the group, that’s all.”

“Er… two,” the Major said. “Private Livesy, but that seems to have been a bit of teenage angst, rather than anything more. And Private McFadden. GBH a couple of times. He doesn’t cause any issues. Or he didn’t under your predecessor.”

“Right. Thanks,” Robert said, shaking his hand.

"All the information is in the files," Major Hunter said, nodding at the pile of paperwork. "Along with each soldiers military record."

"Perfect." Robert did the army salute as Major Hunter left his tiny office and Robert could breathe again. He was young to be promoted to this position, and he was desperate to prove himself. As long as the lads stayed in line, he’d be just fine. And the reputation of the regiment was exemplary. Robert didn’t anticipate any problems. In retrospect, that was probably his first mistake.

* * *

 

Aaron stared up at the bunk above him, murmurings from the lads coming through to him as he tried to drift off to sleep. Usually he had no problem sleeping with the noise of five other guys, it was almost like a comforting rhythm these days. This was his second home, he’d found a place he belonged within the army, which was something he never expected. Funny how life changes.

“Oh, you’re awake.” Aaron turned onto his side to see James, his friend crouching down to talk to him.

“Not for lack of trying,” Aaron said heavily. ”What’s up?”

“New guys arrived.”

“What’s he like?” Aaron said eagerly. They’d known they were getting a new commander, but that didn’t mean all of the men were going to like it.

“Young,” James said. “I’ve not met him yet, but I was watching as Major Hunter showed him to his office. He looks barely out of Uni.”

“You’re being harsh,” Aaron noted. “He might not be as young as he looks.”

“I think he’s going to have trouble with us.”

“You _think,_ or you’re going to give him trouble?” Aaron asked with a smile.

“I don’t want a fast tracked jobsworth telling us what to do.”

“If you don’t like authority, you’re in the wrong job,” Aaron said. But he knew James was all talk and didn’t mean it. “I need sleep mate.” James clapped him on the shoulder and Aaron closed his eyes, though now with something new to think about.

* * *

 

Early starts were the norm in the army, but Robert woke up even earlier than required, laying in bed wondering how today would go. He was in charge of a team of twelve. Which wasn’t many, but Robert understood this to be a test, and then he’d be given more responsibilities if it went well, which he hoped against hope it would. He needed to prove to his father that he wasn’t a waste of space, he could achieve when he put his mind to it.

He gave up on sleep, it wasn’t going to happen, so he got up and started to get dressed. He had the names of his team memorised, he just needed to put faces to names. It felt a chilly morning as the lads assembled, and Robert started the mornings roll call. Robert got to Private Livesy and felt a nagging feeling that he recognised him. Like he’d seen his face somewhere else, but he couldn’t place it. As the lads started going through their drills, Robert kept looking at Livesy. He recognised him, he knew it, but he couldn’t think where. And then he got distracted by a team who weren’t doing their job. Basically taking the mick, trying to see if he was a soft touch. He wasn’t but he’d have preferred to spend his first day doing something other than shouting at a reluctant unit. They were testing him, he was the new boy, it was to be expected. It didn’t make it any easier.

* * *

As the team were dismissed for lunch, Robert called to the almost familiar face.

“Private Livesy, a word?”

“Sir?” Aaron asked, approaching him.

“I think I recognise you,” Robert said.

“I think that’s unlikely,” Aaron said. Tagging on a “sir” at the end, though it did come across like he’d forgotten it. Which he had, but he didn’t want Robert to know that. Which from the raised eyebrow, he knew perfectly well. Aaron didn’t recognise Robert at all, there was no familiarity.

“Where are you from?” Robert asked, pushing.

“Yorkshire,” Aaron replied.

“Emmerdale by any chance?” Robert asked.

“Yes,” Aaron said after a pause, looking at him steadily. “Why?”

“I’m from around there,” Robert said, feeling far more at ease now he could place Aaron’s face. “It’ll stop bothering me where I know you from. Didn’t you recognise my name?” 

“I’m hardly ever in the village,” Aaron said. “I don’t like being there.”

“Running away?” Robert pressed.

“I don’t think that’s any of your business, sir,” Aaron said, eyes flashing dangerously.

“You’re right,” Robert said. “My apologies. Do you remember Jack Sugden? Up at the farm?”

Aaron looked at him levelly, then nodded. “Yes, I do. That’s…”

“My dad, yes,” Robert said.

“Oh,” Aaron said, it slotting into place in his mind. “You’re the son who…”

“Ran off at the first opportunity, that sounds about right,” Robert said, hearing Jack‘s voice in his mind. Robert let his shoulders drop and Aaron looked at him, sensing weakness. 

“Tough first day?” Aaron shouldn’t have said that, there was no speaking out of turn in this life. But Aaron had a sarcastic side to him that he couldn’t always hold his tongue on. It had got him in trouble far too often before.

“Something like that, Private,” Robert said. He flicked his eyes in a sign of dismissal and Aaron gave him a salute before retreating.

* * *

Aaron looked up at the bunk above him that night, thinking. He hadn’t recognised Robert. Even with the name recognition. He should have recognised “Sugden” as being from around Emmerdale, but he didn’t. Truth be told, he liked to forget as much as he could from life at home. He didn’t like life in Yorkshire. Or more specifically, he hadn’t liked the small town atmosphere, where if you were the slightest bit out of the norm you’d be stared at for weeks on end. Now he knew it wouldn’t have been through malicious intent, but at 16? He hadn’t realised that. And he had been beginning to understand that he was different. It had been more to do with his own issues, his own fear of what being gay in a small English village would mean, and the fact he didn’t want to be gay. He hated the idea of it, and he’d been trying to fight it. 

Adam had flippantly mentioned the army one day, and for some reason the idea had stuck. He hadn’t intended it to be a lifelong commitment, but he’d enjoyed it far more than he expected. The routine, the discipline, the entire atmosphere in barracks, so he’d stuck at it. Sometimes it was desperately lonely, but he wouldn’t change it. He was good at this life, and if a few minor… inconveniences sprung up, he just dealt with them.

Which brought his thoughts back to Robert Sugden. His superior. In the quiet of the night, Aaron allowed himself to think of him, remember the shape of his face, the look in his blue green eyes. He felt shockingly and suddenly attracted to him. But that wouldn’t do. A brief flash of desire, no more. It would burn out in a day or two, it would have to. Aaron never mixed work with his private life. Actually, maybe scratching the itch would be good. Aaron got out of bed and dressed in jeans and a hoodie, grabbing his wallet to go out. He gave James a nudge and James nodded at him, covering for him without a word. They both did it for each other. And while it wasn’t exactly forbidden to leave the barracks, they did have a curfew which Aaron was currently breaking. But he needed a distraction, some cheap and easy sex and all the other lads did it now and again. He just hoped the new boss wasn’t a stickler for the rules. Even if Sugden was, Aaron was still going out.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy that people want to read more of this AU! Thank you so much for the wonderful feedback!

Aaron came back to the barracks at just gone three in the morning. All the lads were asleep and he quickly got into bed, feeling much more relaxed and calm. He didn’t regret going out, he’d needed something to clear his mind. And if a one night stand could do that, so much the better.

* * *

During breakfast in the mess hall, James gave Aaron a raised eyebrow, silently asking how the night had gone. “None of your business,” Aaron said, though his voice was friendly.

"We should go out together one of these days," James said, and Aaron nodded, completely non committal. 

“You never mention anything about the girl you sneak off to see,” James pressed. “Go on. Live a little!”

“Not much to say,” Aaron said smoothly. “I like having a very small bit of privacy around here.”

“Point taken,” James said. “What do you think of Sugden?” 

Aaron considered, thinking about what to say. “Not that keen on him to be honest,” Aaron said. “He told me yesterday that we’re from the same village. I don’t recognise him, but apparently he recognises me.”

“Is that a good thing or a bad one?” James asked.

“No idea,” Aaron said. “Though if he finds out what I did with his little sister, I can’t see that going over well,” Aaron added. James laughed, and Aaron smiled. He’d thought about what Robert said, and realised he must be Vic’s big brother. He had slept with Vic, that happened to be true, but he’d use anything he could to keep his cover as straight, as just another one of the lads. Aaron had no intention to be the odd one out, to stand out from the crowd by announcing he was gay. They were a team, and they needed to stay that way. Any fracture in the group would be fatal if and when they went on operation abroad and it wasn’t worth the risk, not to Aaron. He’d been on one foreign tour before, Afghanistan, and sometimes your unit were the people you relied on to get back home. Any hesitation from them… Aaron didn’t know how they’d react to finding out he was gay. And he was more than happy not to find out any time soon. If keeping it quiet gave him an easy life, it was an option he'd take every time.

“Go on,” James said and Aaron shook his head. "What was her name? The sister?"

“I value my life,” Aaron joked. “Come on, we’re going to be late.”

* * *

Robert had got the report that Private Livesy had broken curfew last night. He didn’t think this was a coincidence, given their first meeting yesterday. Now, whether this was a regular occurrence, Aaron was just pushing the boundaries with the new boss, or he wanted to make a point as they’d crossed paths (barely) before the army, Robert didn’t know, but he planned to find out.

During roll call, Robert called Aaron out. “Private Livesy?”

“Sir?”

“You broke your curfew last night,” Robert said. There was a ripple among the lads, though no one actually said anything. “A reason?”

“None, sir,” Aaron said, and if he wasn’t in uniform, Robert could have sworn he was shrugging at him in an “oh well” sort of gesture.

“Er… it’s kind of understood that as long as we’re back by breakfast that…” Private McFadden started, tailing off as he caught wind of Robert’s glare.

“Well, it’s un-understood from this point forward,” Robert said simply. “We have rules for a reason.”

“Good luck with keeping the team under control if you don’t allow them to have a little fun.” Aaron spoke without willing it, and he wanted to bite his tongue off afterwards, especially with the steady stare that Robert was giving him.

“I want a word with you afterwards,” Robert said softly. Then, louder “Go on then! Get to work!”

* * *

Robert dismissed the team, all but Private Livesy, who stood to attention. “Any excuses for why you broke curfew?”

“It’s none of your business.”

“It is while you work for Her Majesties armed forces,” Robert countered. “Come on, you can’t get in more trouble,” he added, trying for the casual touch, see if that worked any better.

“Fine,” Aaron said. “I was after some meaningless sex. That do you?”

Robert smiled without humour. “I’m not going to tolerate midnight excursions to whichever club was your flavour of the month. From you or any of the other soldier.”

Aaron looked at him incredulously. “Sugden, you don’t want to make an enemy of me,” Aaron said, the threat there, though he was speaking calmly.

“Maybe I do,” Robert said. He couldn’t back down from anyone, he didn’t have it in him.

“There’s only one of you,” Aaron said. “There’s twelve of us. The lads listen to me. If you want to make life difficult for yourself, you’re going the right way about it.”

“I don’t like you,” Robert decided out loud. “How would you like a transfer?”

That made Aaron pause. “You can’t,” Aaron said, thinking quickly.

“No, I can’t,” Robert said. “I’ll have to run it past the Major, but all he does is rubber stamp it for approval. I can’t see there being a problem.”

“Or _you_ could leave,” Aaron said, fighting back. “I’ve been working perfectly fine here for more than a year. You come along and all of a sudden there’s a problem? It wouldn’t take long to figure out where that came from. A bad reputation for a newly promoted captain to have.”

Robert breathed out heavily, trying to keep his temper in check. Aaron unnerved him, got under his skin and he couldn’t work out why. He’d dealt with a lot of men in the army, but none quite like Aaron.

“Lets leave it at an impasse then, shall we?” Robert said, not wanting to push one way or the other.

“That’s good with me, sir,” Aaron said. Robert nodded, and Aaron left to join the other soldiers.

* * *

Robert looked up at the ceiling that night in bed, exhausted but unable to sleep. There was something about Aaron Livesy that was getting under his skin. Breaking curfew wasn’t a serious infraction all things considered, but it was his attitude, the look on his face. The fact he clearly thought he was better than Robert. He punched the pillow, rolling over and trying to get comfortable which wasn’t overly successful. Why couldn’t he get that soldier out of his mind?


	3. Chapter 3

A couple of days passed. Things settled into… well, if not comfortable exactly, certainly a routine for the men. One night Aaron couldn’t sleep, and after a while tossing and turning, he grabbed a T shirt and some jogging bottoms and went to the recreation room. It was two thirty in the morning and he expected to have it to himself. There was one other man there, from a different unit than Aaron’s so he didn’t know his name. He stood in the corner on the phone, in what seemed to be a serious conversation, so Aaron ignored him and went over to the other end of the room, the pool table. It seemed as good a distraction as any, so he racked the balls up and grabbed a cue. His mind was running so fast and on so many different thoughts that he couldn’t settle, and the action of potting balls on the table did calm him down. He didn’t know why he was so worked up, couldn’t find a reason for it.  
Aaron set the balls up again, thinking he’d clear the table a second time and then try and catch a couple of hours sleep before the early morning wake up call.

“I didn’t know you could play pool.” Aaron straightened up and saw Captain Robert Sugden watching him, sitting on a table. He wore a grey T shirt and jeans, and he didn’t look like he was near sleep either.

“Why would you know the first thing about me?” Aaron asked. Then, as Robert was his superior, he added, “Sir.”

“Private Livesy, it’s three in the morning, I think we can forget the formalities.”

“Okay,” Aaron said. “And yes, I can play a bit.”

“I think we got off on the wrong foot,” Robert said. “I’d like to start again. Robert turned and grabbed another cue. “Fancy a game?”

Aaron considered it. He noticed the other man had left, presumably finished with his phone call and nodded. “All right then.”

“So,” Robert said. “Why did you join the army?” He took the break off shot, the colours flying everywhere on the table.

“What are you after?” Aaron asked. Robert in his experience didn’t do friendly. He liked to keep his air of authority, so to be presented with a different kind of Robert was jarring. 

“I just want to get to know you better,” Robert said levelly. “And I don’t think you like me much which makes things difficult.” Aaron took his turn and missed the pot, sighing at it. “So, why did you sign up? Running away, bored, civic minded, or needing an outlet for violence. Which is it?”

“Are they my only options?” Aaron asked, amused. Robert looked at him and smiled.

“Usually recruits are in those categories, yeah,” Robert said, taking his turn. He was slow, methodical on the pool table and it gave Aaron the chance to admire the stretch of his body. He was muscular and the T shirt was very thin. He might not like Robert professionally, but he was certainly easy on the eye.

“So, which reason was the one for you?” Aaron asked, not wanting to talk about his own personal life. Robert's on the other hand...

“I was running away,” Robert said without shame. “I’m not civic minded, I didn’t really have the time to get bored, but I didn’t have anywhere left to run to.” Robert took the shot and potted the ball, making him mutter “yes!” under his breath.

“Why were you running away?” Aaron asked, well aware he was pushing the boundaries.

“Er… my dad,” Robert said. “Didn’t like me. He wanted me to take over the farm and I didn’t want to spend my life on a small farm in Yorkshire. We argued all the time, then he adopted my brother. Who was perfect in every way I wasn’t.”

“Andy,” Aaron said, testing his memory a little.

Robert looked up at him. “Yeah. I forgot that you know my family. And then Katie, the girl I loved went off with him as well and... yeah, running away from all that.”

“I’m sure your dad does love you,” Aaron said, now on very shaky territory. He didn’t really emotionally support people he actually knew, so with Robert he had no idea what he was doing.

“I’d like to think so,” Robert said. “At least I can’t completely disgrace him while working in the army, there is that. Damn.” Robert missed his last shot and Aaron chalked his cue, debating on the shot he’d try to play next. “What about you?”

“I guess… running away too,” Aaron said, being honest. “And a little bit of… I didn’t really know what to do after school. Which I bunked off most of the time anyway. I didn’t want to spend my days hanging around the cricket pavilion either, just watching my life pass me by. My friend Adam made a joke about joining the army and… it sort of stuck with me.” Aaron took aim and grinned as the pocket swallowed the ball.

“Okay,” Robert said slowly. “And the running away part?” Aaron looked at him sharply.

“That’s private,” he said, making it clear that the subject was closed. Robert didn’t push it.

“I’ll find out one day,” Robert said, keeping his voice light.

“Now, that could be interesting,” Aaron said. He miscued and groaned as the white went flying. Robert smirked, the balls his for the taking. Aaron watched as Robert quickly moved around the table. As he stretched for the shot, Aaron had a new appreciation of Robert’s jeans. They hugged his arse beautifully and Aaron quickly looked away in case Robert caught him eyeing him up. That would never do.

“How old are you?” Aaron asked.

“Why?”

“A couple of the lads think you’re too young to be a captain,” Aaron said honestly. “I was curious.”

“Twenty seven,” Robert said. “I’m not that young.”

“No,” Aaron agreed. “You look younger.”

“What can I say, it’s my boyish good looks.” He caught Aaron’s eye and Aaron felt himself flush a little, cursing himself and hoping the stubble hid a little of it. Robert smiled, potting the last ball and grinning at a victory.

“That’s that then,” Aaron said, the game now over.

Robert looked at the table, then suggested something. “Two out of three?” Aaron looked at the clock on the wall. It was nearing three thirty and they both had to be up by six a.m. But at this point it might be easier staying up than going to bed.

“Go on, then.”

* * *

Aaron went to bed at just before five in the morning, not really expecting to get any sleep beyond a light doze. He’d lost, 2-1 on the pool. But it had been a really good enjoyable night, all things considered. And that was surprising. He hadn’t thought he’d liked Robert, and spending a couple of hours with him when he wasn’t putting on a front… was enlightening. He might have to cut Sugden some slack. Or that was the plan, until breakfast.

* * *

Aaron loaded up on coffee, trying to wake up when Alan, one of his fellow soldiers came over to him. “Ey, I’ve heard something about you,” he said. 

“Oh, what’s that?” Aaron asked, adding another sugar to his coffee.

“Heard you slept with the boss’s sister.” Aaron whipped around to look at James who at least had the grace to look guilty.

“Are you completely useless?!” Aaron asked.

“I’d had a drink,” James said. “And it just… came out.”

“Remind me never to trust you,” Aaron said bitterly.

“So it’s true?” Alan said. “Really? Wow, that’s going to get on the wrong side of Sugden.”

“I suppose it’s useless to ask you to keep this quiet?”

“Well… one or two of the others might…”

“Yeah, got it thanks,” Aaron said, rolling his eyes. That would not go over well.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't plan to get a chapter done this soon, but I'm rather fond of this one! Hope you enjoy, and thank you for the support so far on this story!

It was buzzing over the barracks by midday. Most of the soldiers were treating it as unsubstantiated gossip. Anyone who thought women were the only ones who loved to gossip had never spent any time in a male only environment, Aaron thought bitterly. It hadn’t spread to the officer class, but Aaron knew it was only a matter of time.

During their training at the shooting range, Robert had an ice cold persona and wouldn’t look Aaron in the eye. Aaron didn’t know if Robert was resisting the urge to punch him, or if Aaron was reading far too much into his body language. Either seemed possible.

Aaron missed the target several times, his shots running lose and it was easily his worst performance in the shooting range this year, but he was too desperate to get out of the situation and speak with Robert alone. Aaron didn’t even bother with queuing for dinner in the cafeteria, instead he went straight to Robert’s office, knocking abruptly. It was clear that the Captain had only just beaten him here, loosening his camouflage jacket, beret casually discarded on the desk and blond hair on end as he‘d clearly been running his fingers through it.

“Private Livesy?” Robert asked, a muscle twitching in his jaw. Aaron knew he wasn’t imagining it now.

“Can I come in?” Aaron asked.

“Fine,” Robert said indifferently, Aaron coming in and closing the door. As soon as they were alone, Robert moved like lightening, his forearm across Aaron’s throat, pinning him against the wall. His arm felt like an iron bar and Aaron winced, his breathing restricted. He must have moved fast for Aaron’s quick reflexes not to kick in.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t throttle you right now,” Robert said darkly, eyes flashing dangerously.

“You’ve heard, then,” Aaron said, trying to stop panicking because that wouldn’t help him right now. He didn’t truly think Robert would actually kill him, but the inability to breathe didn’t help clear thought.

“It’s true?”

“I don’t think you killing me would look good on your military record,” Aaron said. Robert loosened his grip, but not by much. “Yeah, alright. It’s true.”

“You’re lucky I don’t punch you,” Robert said, letting go of him and turning away, bracing himself. Aaron could see the line of taught muscles across his shoulders.

“Look, it wasn’t what you’re thinking,” Aaron said. “I didn’t take advantage of her.” Robert’s eyes glared at him, as if warning him to watch it. “You know Vic, you know what she’s like when there’s something she wants.”

“Oh, and she wanted you,” Robert said lowly, as if he highly doubted it.

“We were kids,” Aaron said, shaking his head. “It didn’t mean anything.”

“So my baby sister meant nothing to you now?”

“Ask her, I’m sure she’d say the same.” Aaron felt uncomfortably caught between a rock and a hard place. “There’s nothing I can say that can make this situation better. Vic‘s a mate. She still is, when I’m home.”

“Why then, did you think it would be good gossip for the troops?” Robert asked, holding in his anger with difficulty. “If it’s that simple?”

Aaron sighed. “Because I was stupid,” he said. “Because I made a bad call when you’d just got here. I wasn’t thinking.” Robert huffed. “The lads didn’t like you, I was trying to fit in with them, that’s all!” The truth was Aaron hadn’t really thought that much about it. He certainly hadn’t expected to spend a lot of time with Robert, like the other night over the pool table and thoroughly enjoy it. Somehow the positions had switched, and Aaron now felt very much that he wanted Robert to like him at the very least. It was a feeling Aaron wasn’t going to examine too much.

“Why don’t they like me?” Robert asked, almost bitterly. “Why don’t they respect me?”

“Respect has to be earned,” Aaron said, eyes catching his, almost with a challenge. Robert, already under pressure from expectations, both within the armed forces, and the watchful critical eyes of his father he could feel from all the way back in Yorkshire, snapped. He was already on a short fuse and he grabbed fistfuls of Aaron’s jacket and pushed him forcefully up against the wall.

“Is this the way you prove your point?” Aaron breathed, trying not to fight back, trying to hold his instincts in. “Sir.” It came out as more of an insult than any kind of deference and Robert pushed him against the wall again, tightening his fists in the fabric. He could feel Aaron’s muscles tensing, but he wasn’t reacting outwardly. The anger in Aaron’s eyes had changed into interest, Robert saw it. Robert seemed unable to control himself as his eyes flickered to Aaron’s mouth, still breathing heavily. Aaron didn’t move a muscle as Robert, almost without willing it moved closer. He could feel Aaron’s breath rushing over his lips, and he stopped thinking as he… The phone rang. 

Robert jerked himself out of his stupor and let go of Aaron, hands swinging uselessly by his side. Aaron didn’t seem alarmed or upset, on the contrary, he almost seemed like he was daring him to carry on. They were both ignoring the ringing phone, and Robert cleared his throat.

“Dismissed, Private,” Robert said, voice a lot fainter than he‘d have liked. Aaron huffed at him, maybe anger, maybe amusement, then turned and left. Robert breathed out slowly. That had been so stupidly close to making a mistake. God, he couldn’t allow himself to lose control like that. Especially when Aaron was so well liked among the lads.

“Get a grip, Sugden,” he told himself. The phone had briefly stopped, and then it started ringing again. Robert sighed and went to answer it.

* * *

Robert half expected it to be all over the barracks the next morning. That he’d so nearly thrown himself at Livesy. In that moment, he’d wanted to. He’d wanted to know how Aaron tasted, he wanted to know how that body felt underneath his. He hadn’t been consciously aware of the attraction, but now looking back… yeah, he guessed he had been attracted to him since his appointment here. He just hadn’t thought about it because it’s not like it would lead anywhere. But Aaron hadn’t moved away. Reading the look on his face, Aaron had known what he was seconds away from doing and there hadn’t been any resistance in him. In fact, he’d almost looked as if he was challenging Robert, daring him to carry on. And after a full day of drills where not a single soul looked at him as if they knew something about Aaron and him, Robert decided Aaron probably was interested in men, the same as he was. But, like him, he didn’t want it advertised.

There had always been a dangerous streak about Robert, reckless. And he’d decided what he was going to do tonight.

* * *

 

Robert waited until about 1 a.m. before going to the rec room. It wasn’t quite empty, but it was heading that way, and he had the pool table to himself. A couple of his soldiers nodded to him in acknowledgement, the last stragglers as they turned the TV off from whatever rugby match was playing. Robert played a game of pool, and by the time he was finished, he was completely alone. He didn’t know if Aaron would show. He might be making a complete fool of himself by wasting sleep when Aaron could be currently snoring in his bed.

Robert decided to give it one more game, trying stupid trick shots as he waited for a man who may not show up. He tried taking a shot, bouncing the white off three cushions, but he misjudged and ended up potting the white instead with a sigh.

“Couldn’t you play this badly against me?” Robert looked up and saw Aaron there. A T shirt and jeans. He didn’t look like he’d been sleeping.

“Hi,” Robert said, inanely. Couldn’t he think of anything else to say?

“I want to talk about last night,” Aaron said.

“I don’t,” Robert said. Talking was about the last thing he wanted to do, he was a man of action. If Aaron wanted to talk, that probably meant some excuse or disinterest was coming his way. “Let’s forget it and move on.”

“You wouldn’t be here playing pool at two in the morning if you wanted to forget it,” Aaron said. “Can’t we at least talk?”

“Fine,” Robert said, bristling which didn’t feel exactly fair, but he couldn’t help it.

“If… something happens,” Aaron said, watching Roberts reaction. “No one can know.” Robert perked up at that.

“So, somethings going to happen, is it?” Robert asked.

“You wanted it yesterday,” Aaron said with a kind of confidence that Robert marvelled at. Aaron walked closer to him and Robert stayed still, except tightening his grip on the pool cue. “I locked the door,” Aaron said.

“How’ve you got a key?” Robert asked.

“I’m not going to tell you all my secrets,” Aaron teased with a smile. Robert let it drop, it was by far the least important thing right now. Aaron reached for his free hand and slowly started tracing his index finger over the skin there. It should not have been this seductive, but it really was. His finger tracing the dents of his knuckles, then turning over his palm and running his fingers so feather lightly over his skin. All the time he touched him, Aaron didn’t lose eye contact with Robert, not allowing Robert to look away. Aaron’s eyes were gorgeously blue, he could drown in those eyes. And right now they were filled with want and a demand that Robert not look away. Robert moved first, pressing his lips to Aaron’s. It was a soft, almost chaste kiss and Aaron knew Robert was almost testing him. If Robert expected him to run out scared, he’d be proven wrong very quickly. Aaron grinned and moved forwards for a much deeper more satisfying kiss, a hand on the back of his neck. Robert moaned into it, pushing his tongue against Aaron’s. He wasn’t about to be scared off either. 

Aaron found himself perched on the edge of the pool table, thighs open, Robert standing between his legs and kissing him deeply. He had no memory of moving at all, but his hands had slid under Robert’s T shirt, feeling the muscles across his back and fingernails digging in a little. Robert similarly had a hand down the back of Aaron’s jeans, squeezing his arse occasionally. Robert suddenly brought himself back to reality. They couldn’t be caught like this and he pulled back a little, as much as Aaron’s thighs, tight around his waist would let him.

“Not here,” Robert said. Aaron looked disappointed until Robert leaned forward and caught his earlobe between his teeth. “I’m going to make you moan. I want privacy. Leave it five minutes, then come to my quarters.”

“You’re not going to change your mind?” Aaron asked.

“Try me and find out,” Robert teased, holding out his hand for the door keys. Aaron threw them to him, and Robert smirked as he left the rec room, Aaron's heart racing.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short, but I hope it's better than nothing! Thank you for all the feedback on this so far, and I hope you like this!

Aaron got off the bed and dressed, slightly amused as Robert watched him cover up his body, with obvious interest. “You could stay,” Robert suggested.

“No,” Aaron said firmly. “I don’t spend the night.”

“Sounds like you’ve done this before,” Robert said.

Aaron shrugged. “Not within the army, but yeah,” he said. “I don’t hang around after. It means one thing, we both know that.” Robert felt the protest die on his tongue. He had some pride, he wasn’t about to beg. He wanted to deny it, he wanted to say that he didn’t go around screwing soldiers under his charge, but Aaron’s confidence didn’t really allow for him to say anything. So he let it go. Aaron leaned over Robert and kissed him briefly, lips lingering only for a second or two.

“That was fun,” he said, eyes light. Robert didn’t have it in him to answer, he just let Aaron leave and rolled over, angry. With himself and with Aaron. Why had he considered it would mean more than a one night screw? Why hadn’t Aaron thought about it possibly meaning more? Did he make it a habit to go around with one night stands? Maybe he did. Robert’s mind was running with a thousand thoughts, most of them making him feel cheap. Which was ridiculous, he had a casual relationship with sex. Whatever felt good was fine with him, usually. Man or woman, he didn’t really have a preference. Anything that felt good, anyone that was attractive. But there was something different about Aaron. Something that sex hadn’t quite got out of his system. 

Robert knew he was bisexual, he understood that about himself even if he‘d never voiced it aloud. But he knew that he could never, _ever_ come out as bi. Regardless of the army, his father and his brother would either hate him, or make him a complete outcast. He was already a misfit enough within his family, he didn’t need it to happen any more than it already did. If all he had to do was hide the part of himself that liked men to keep his family? That’s what he’d do.

* * *

Aaron crawled into his bunk, feeling exhausted. It might be fun, but sex on no sleep took its toll. Aaron smiled to himself as he curled under the duvet, feeling deeply satisfied. That had been a bit more… intimate than he’d expected, but it wasn’t a bad thing. It certainly satisfied the need anyway. Maybe with a quick screw, Aaron could stop focusing on how good Robert, no, Captain Sugden looked in his uniform. Got to get the professionalism back into their relationship now. Aaron couldn’t stop smiling either way. That had been a good night.

* * *

When Roberts alarm woke him the next morning, he had a fear fully formed in his mind, as if he’d dreamed it up while sleeping. Aaron could accuse him of sexual misconduct if he wanted to. Robert was the boss, he was the one arguably in a position of power, and it could be seen like Robert was taking advantage of him. And if Aaron reported it that way, it could end his career right when it was just starting. The fear of that happening, completely ruining him almost paralyzed him.

Last night in the heat of the moment he’d been feeling regretful that it seemed Aaron considered this a one night stand rather than the start of a relationship between them. Now, in the cold light of day it seemed like he’d had a lucky escape.

Robert first caught sight of Aaron during roll call. He still looked good, and now that Robert had run his palms along his skin, as well as his mouth, Robert knew he felt better than he looked too. _Stop thinking that way_ , he told himself sternly. He was a captain in the British army, for God’s sake, he was supposed to have discipline.

During their training, Aaron almost seemed subdued. Not quite giving it his all. Maybe it was tiredness, but Robert couldn’t help his mind going into overdrive all the same. He requested a meeting with Private Livesy after dinner in his office. By his tone, he made it clear it was optional, he didn’t have to come, and Aaron’s beautiful blue eyes had understood, as he nodded briefly. Robert felt thankful for that at least, and he went to grab some dinner.

* * *

 

Aaron knocked on Sugden’s door with a little trepidation. He didn’t know what the man wanted, but he’d have bet his shirt that it was personal rather than professional.

Robert opened the door and then leaned against the edge of the desk, looking deeply wary as Aaron entered his office. His entire body was giving off signs that he felt uncomfortable. “Go on, then,” Aaron said, closing the door. “Spit it out.”

Robert cleared his throat. “Last night…” he started. “Please don’t report it.”

“What?” Aaron asked with a scowl, wondering what the hell he was getting at. Report it? What the hell?

“You could… if you wanted to, you could probably report me for sexual harassment. I’d rather you give me a bit of warning to try and save something of my career. If you’re uncomfortable, I can put in for a transfer so you don’t have to deal with me.”

“Woah, hang on a minute,” Aaron said, frowning deeply. “Who said anything about reporting you?”

“It could be seen as… me taking advantage,” Robert said, looking at the floor. "I'm your superior after all." He hadn’t looked at Aaron once since he’d come into the office, and it was starting to grate on him.

“Funny, that’s not how I remember it,” Aaron said. “Just relax a bit, Robert. I’m not about to gossip to anyone what happened last night, I’m not like that.”

“Good,” Robert said, breathing out slowly and looking at him, finally. “I really wouldn’t want…”

“Relax,” Aaron said softly, putting a hand on his shoulder and squeezing gently. “If anyone, it was me taking advantage of you.” Robert’s lips twitched with a slight smile and he appreciated the joke. “Don’t make it sordid, alright? Because it wasn't.”

“I just… panicked a little bit.”

“I noticed,” Aaron said lightly. Aaron slowly, almost reluctantly lowered his hand. “Is that all you wanted?”

Robert looked at him levelly, and then nodded. “Yeah. Of course.”

“Right,” Aaron said, sensing the undercurrents, sensing that there was something that Robert just wasn’t saying. He locked eyes on Robert’s, silently asking. “I’m fine,” Robert said.

“Okay,” Aaron said with a shrug. He turned away and left the office, leaving Robert cursing under his breath. He should have just said that he wanted more, but he wasn’t brave enough. He needed to work with Aaron after all. Be professional. Instead, he went to the gym, spending his energy in a less satisfying way than how he’d have liked, but it couldn’t be helped.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really quite fond of this chapter! It was a lot of fun to write, so I hope you enjoy it too!

Robert sat at his desk, thinking. There was no two ways about it, he wanted Aaron and the feeling wasn’t fading away, instead it seemed to be getting stronger. During the teams drills, his eyes fell on Aaron far more often than would have been considered professional. He almost couldn’t help it, even when he told himself not to stare. The problem was Aaron looked good, and he now knew that he tasted and felt even better. He had not been alone with Aaron since that evening two weeks ago when Aaron had told him he was panicking over nothing about being reported, and he sort of expected the attraction to die out. It would be putting his career at risk, he knew that. 

The official party line was that members of the LGBT community were welcome in the army. But Robert knew that the reality would be vastly different from the politically correct statements made on the telly. It was partly the mob mentality, the overwhelmingly masculine environment, and all it would take would be one soldier to have a problem with it. And that was before you even got to the ethical issue, of having a relationship with a soldier under his charge. It would never be allowed, and if it became public knowledge, either he or Aaron would be given a transfer to a different unit.

Plus there was also going to be a minor consideration that he and Aaron weren’t actually in a relationship. _Yet_ , he said to himself. He wanted to be. He wanted to know more about Aaron, he wanted to get under his skin, he wanted him, plain and simple.

* * *

 

“Hey,” James said. “Want to come out with the lads?”

“No,” Aaron said, staring up at the bunk bed above him. “Don’t fancy it.”

“What’s got into you?” he asked. “You haven’t wanted to come out in weeks.” 

“I don’t know,” Aaron said slowly, though he did know perfectly well. The person he couldn’t stop thinking about wasn’t out in any club they might go to.

“Not met someone have you?” James said. He caught Aaron’s eye and stopped. “Oh. What’s she like then? Is she around here or back home?”

“That’s none of your business,” Aaron said. “Anyway, not like anything can happen now, is it?”

“Back home then,” James said with a raised eyebrow. Aaron didn’t answer, let James believe that. It was as good an excuse as any. “Well, we’ll miss you.”

“I’m sure you won’t,” Aaron said. “Whatever blonde grabs your attention tonight will be a distraction.”

“You know it,” James said easily, giving Aaron’s shoulder a slap. Aaron rolled his eyes, but watched as almost half the men in the dorm left. Aaron thought about it, but decided to go to the gym. He couldn’t settle and needed to work some energy off.

Instead, when he got to the gym, he saw Robert through the window, no, not Robert, Captain Sugden, on the treadmill. Aaron stopped, watching him. What really got him is that he was shirtless, and Aaron swallowed, eyes tracing the line of his spine very slowly. Robert usually was very professional, Aaron didn’t get the chance to see his body. Apart from that obviously memorable occasion, one which Aaron would very much like to repeat. Aaron had a quick glance in the rest of the gym, but it was thankfully empty. So instead, he focused on Robert.

Realistically, he knew Robert was fit. He was in the army, so of course he was. Aaron had touched him, he’d seen him, but he hadn’t really had the chance to just watch him. To simply enjoy looking. Especially when Robert was unaware he was being watched. Aaron should leave, he knew that, but he just couldn’t. Robert wasn’t typically well built, it was all under the surface, Aaron knew because he’d felt it. The strength of those arms tight around him, the flexing of his thighs. Aaron bit his bottom lip hard, trying to wake himself out of his trance. He opened the door to the gym and went inside. Robert slowed the treadmill and looked at him before he grabbed his shirt and put it on.

“Not like I’ve not seen it before,” Aaron said with a smile.

Robert looked surprised for a moment, then replied. “But if you want a second showing, you’ll have to do more than just look.”

Aaron’s eyebrows rose, then he grinned. “I might take you up on that,” he flirted. Robert laughed under his breath. Aaron didn’t carry on, instead went over to the rowing machine, needing something to spend all his energy on. Robert was still walking on the treadmill, presumably cooling down as Aaron started working out. He knew Robert was watching him, could feel the weight of his gaze on him but he didn't catch his eye. It took a lot of Aaron’s effort not to smile. He loved knowing Robert was watching him, something thrilling about that. And he felt fairly confident that Robert liked what he saw. This was new for Aaron. He had confidence when he was out looking for a one night thing, because he knew it didn’t matter. It would be a couple of hours and then he’d never see whoever it was again. If the guy thought anything negative, it didn’t matter. But this, with Robert? It was starting to matter.

He’d never been in a relationship with a man before. He liked sex, but relationships tended to get messy from what he saw. Robert was someone he could not get away from if it all went wrong. But he did really like him and was deeply attracted to him. One night hadn’t got Robert out of his system. Deep down, he wondered what would.

“Stop,” Robert said, standing in front of Aaron. Robert had sweated through his shirt and it was not allowed to look that good on him, Aaron thought privately, though he did stop the machine.

“Why?”

“Because I can think of a better way to burn a few calories,” Robert said, teasing. Then he turned more sincere. “Listen, I… I really like you. I want to… I want more.” Robert didn’t go further, he didn’t dare to, but Aaron knew what he was getting at.

“Robert, no one can know,” Aaron said. “I mean it. I like being in the army, and if it got out…”

“That’s not a no,” Robert said. Aaron looked to the door then back at Robert, making sure they were 100% alone.

“I’d like to start something too,” Aaron admitted. “But we have to keep it professional at work. You know that.” Robert nodded shortly.

“It wouldn’t get it the way.”

“It might,” Aaron said.

“I won’t let it,” Robert replied.

“Done this before, have you?” Aaron asked.

“Never,” Robert said. He let his index finger slowly trail over Aaron’s forearm, down to his hand. It was a tiny touch, but it felt completely electric, the way that Robert so lightly brushed his skin. Aaron turned his hand over which meant Robert was caressing so gently across the veins in his wrist. It felt so powerful, that small touch. “I’m er… going to have a shower. Ten minutes?”

“Okay,” Aaron said, eyes dark with lust. “Don’t keep me waiting, though. I don’t like that.”

“I promise,” Robert said, a smile blooming on those perfect lips. Aaron smirked as he left, wondering if he was getting in far too deep. But he knew it didn’t matter. It wouldn’t stop him.


	7. Chapter 7

Robert nuzzled into Aaron’s neck and kissed his collarbone lightly. “Good?”

“Mm,” Aaron said.

“Are you heading to sleep?”

“Might be,” Aaron murmured. “I should get back,” he added, shifting a little.

“I wasn’t complaining,” Robert said quickly, arm tightening around Aaron. He didn't want Aaron to leave he realised with a sinking heart.

“Nah, the beds too small,” Aaron said.

“It wasn’t designed for _that_ ,” Robert said, a smirk in his voice and Aaron smiled. “There’s new arrivals tomorrow.”

“Oh?” Aaron asked.

“Yeah, I’m going up to twenty four lads now. Apparently I passed the first test, so they’re trusting me with more soldiers.”

“Oh,” Aaron said heavily. He guessed he should have expected it, twelve really was too low a number. But he’d been enjoying the tight knit community feel among the lads. Plus, hiding Robert and their... relationship would be much trickier with twice the number of people keeping an eye out. Not that anyone would suspect, or not yet, anyway.

“The lads are getting… antsy,” Aaron said. Robert frowned in question. “They think we’re going to be deployed on another tour of Afghanistan.” He hesitated. “Are we?”

“You know I can’t tell you that,” Robert said. “I don’t know myself, I follow orders, same as you. Just from someone higher up.”

“You may not know officially,” Aaron said. “But you do know.” Robert still didn’t say anything. “We’re not stupid, we see stuff on the news. The phrase “feet on the ground” keeps being thrown around in parliament whenever Afghanistan comes up.”

“I’d say… it’s a matter of time,” Robert said. “But that is private and not common knowledge.”

“Right,” Aaron said. He twisted his head and kissed Robert’s bicep gently. It came across much softer than he’d intended and Robert threaded his fingers through Aaron‘s hair. “Will we get a furlough home first?”

“Probably,” Robert said. “But also…”

“Not for long, yeah, I get it,” Aaron said. He wanted to see his mum before he went overseas, just on the off chance of the worst case scenario happening when he was away. Though he’d never have verbalised it, especially not to Robert. He didn’t want to come across as soft or… ah, he couldn’t even sort it out in his own head.

“Will you be going home too?” Aaron asked.

“Officially we’re not doing anything,” Robert reminded him and Aaron shrugged. “But yeah,” Robert said. “And then see dad and Andy, that’ll be fun.”

“It might go okay,” Aaron said and Robert didn’t answer. “I should get back.” Aaron got out of bed and dressed, Robert watching with interest and Aaron smirking as he covered up. “We might need to invent some… excuse. If I keep vanishing within the barracks, the lads are going to notice.”

“I can make up some official reason,” Robert said. “You need discipline, that much is obvious.” He was teasing him and Aaron grinned.

“Oh really,” he said, leaning over the bed. “I didn’t hear you complaining half an hour ago.”

“Mm,” Robert said, pressing his lips to Aaron’s in a kiss. “Maybe.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Aaron said, running a hand through his now loose curls, almost self consciously.

“Bye.” Robert watched him leave, closing the door and he turned over, pressing his face into the pillow Aaron had just left. He smelt good. The faint ghost of Aaron smelt of sweat, sex and something so perfectly him, and Robert shivered. How could he still want more? Aaron was… indefinable. He was unlike anyone he’d ever met, and Robert was well and truly screwed.

* * *

 

Aaron got back to the dorm before the other lads had returned from the club, thankfully. He wasn’t sure he had the brain power to think up a believable excuse. He went through to the showers, thinking as he washed Robert off his skin. Getting involved with his senior officer was an incredibly stupid thing to do. Once? Yeah, maybe that could be understandable, but they’d both agreed in the gym that they didn’t think this was going to be a one time thing. Aaron knew this was stupid, and he also knew that it would change nothing. For him and Robert? It was already too late.

* * *

 

The new arrivals came the next day. Young, Aaron noticed, a bit wet behind the ears. Which meant they were all desperate to prove themselves, and trying to intimidate their fellow soldiers. It didn’t bother Aaron, he had nothing to prove to those idiots, but it did create a fractious atmosphere which he could have done without to be honest.

It had been five days since he’d been alone with Robert and the strain was beginning to tell. The fact that Aaron was even counting the days probably said more than it should, but he needed Robert. That night he didn’t even bother with excuses to his roommates, instead he just left the room, heading to Robert’s quarters. They hadn’t arranged to meet up, but he wanted him. He knocked and heard a “come in” before opening the door. Robert was dressed in his army gear, and he wasn’t alone.

“Oh,” Aaron said, thinking quickly. Aaron recognised the man Robert was talking to, Major Hunter, Robert’s boss. “I thought… Private Williams said you wanted to see me," Aaron invented.

“Yes,” Robert said, betraying no surprise at all. Good liar, Aaron thought. 

“I’ll leave you to it,” the Major said, giving Robert a salute which Robert mirrored. The door closed and Robert shook his head, telling Aaron not to speak. He moved to the door, listening for the Major’s departing footsteps, so he’d know they couldn’t be overheard. Aaron on the other hand, wasn’t going to wait. He wrapped his arms around Robert’s waist and started kissing into his neck.

“Aaron,” Robert warned, just above a whisper. He smiled into Robert’s skin, feeling the tension in him as he tried to resist moving until he was sure they were alone. Robert slowly turned the lock, making sure they had privacy and then turned to meet Aaron in a searing kiss. When they parted, Robert sighed heavily.

“You look tired,” Aaron noticed as he pulled back, keeping his hand on Robert’s hip to keep the contact between them.

“Twice the work of last week,” Robert said. “Plus a couple of soldiers who just don’t want to do what they’re told.”

“I thought you liked that about me,” Aaron teased.

“In private, maybe,” Robert admitted, dipping his head into another kiss. “Not during training and drills.”

“I can go,” Aaron said, seeing that Robert really was tired, probably a very tough week for him. "If you need sleep, I don't have to stay here."

“No,” Robert said surely. “I don’t want you going anywhere.” He moved easily, his fingers reaching for Aaron’s belt and pulling him close, their bodies touching everywhere. “I’ve missed you.”

Aaron decided to push his luck. “Get on the desk,” he said, voice low and seductive. Robert grinned, suddenly looking less tired, doing what Aaron asked, sitting on the edge and opening his thighs in invitation. An invitation Aaron was more than happy to take, smiling as he dropped to his knees.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should reiterate, nothing happening in this fic with regards to geography or politics is meant to reflect real life or a historical event. It’s simply to create the drama I want most for robron, nothing more. That said, enjoy!

The announcement came that the British army were going to be deployed in ever increasing numbers in Afghanistan. It wasn’t completely surprising, that’s what they were in training for obviously, but some of the lads weren’t too happy. Mostly first timers who had little idea of what it was really like. Aaron, for his part was simply pleased he was going home for two weeks before being drafted overseas.

The night before Aaron was scheduled to go home, he visited Robert’s quarters. They had the usual sex, but that wasn’t really Aaron’s main focus in visiting. He’d wanted to talk to Robert about how things would be at home, when they were both in the village.

“I won’t be leaving tomorrow,” Robert said and Aaron frowned. “Officer class, I’ve got to do a bit more of the paperwork than you do. I’ll be a couple of days behind you though, don’t worry.”

“Er… in Emmerdale,” Aaron started, and Robert looked at him. “No one knows I’m gay.”

“Okay,” Robert said softly. “I won’t ruin that. No one knows I’m bi either.” Robert had never explicitly stated his sexuality before, but Aaron knew he had a history with Katie from the things that had been said, plus the gossip back home. So Robert saying he was bi did not surprise him, even if it was nice to hear. “I can’t tell my family, I really can’t.”

“I’m not going to out you,” Aaron said. “But also… I don’t know if I can stay away from you for two weeks. It’s a small village.”

“We’ll make it work,” Robert said, Aaron noticing that Robert hadn’t even suggested they try to stay out of each others way. “No one’s noticed anything, right?”

“Right,” Aaron reassured, though he wasn’t sure that was strictly true. James had started to notice both that Aaron was slipping away regularly, and that he wasn’t leaving the base. It was only a matter of time before he started asking questions and it was only their friendship so far that meant he hadn’t asked up until this point in the first place. Aaron hesitated, and Robert could sense something bothering him.

“What?”

“Can I sleep here tonight?” Aaron asked quietly. Robert’s heart squeezed for a second in his chest.

“Yeah,” Robert said, kissing the top of his head. “Course.”

“Thanks.” Aaron shuffled down into the bed and Robert smiled as he started to drift off. There was something so comfortable with having Aaron in his arms, squashed into a tiny bed like this.

* * *

When he woke up, Aaron felt incredibly disorientated, until he saw Robert standing at the postage size stamp window, shirtless and gorgeous. The sun had just come through the window and it sparked off his chest beautifully. “What time is it?”

“Five,” Robert said, making Aaron relax a little.

“Didn’t you sleep?” Aaron asked.

“A little,” Robert said, smiling at the bed. “One of these days I’m going to share a king sized bed with you, in a beautiful hotel with breakfast in bed and crisp white sheets and a bathtub we can swim in.” 

Aaron snorted. “Active imagination, have you?” Robert smiled at him.

“Think about it.”

“Yeah, when we have someone else’s life, maybe,” Aaron said. Robert smiled sadly. “I have to go.”

“I know,” Robert said. 

“Are you all right?” Aaron said, grabbing his clothes.

“Yeah,” Robert said. “Just thinking.” Aaron didn’t push it and soon left, kissing Robert deeply in goodbye before he returned to his barracks. Robert stayed at the window, deep in thought. He’d spent most of the night watching Aaron sleep, listening to him breathe, feeling the occasional clench of his fingers in the sheets. He’d spent the night completely falling for him, Robert could admit that to himself. Aaron didn’t really snore, but his breathing did get a little heavier in the middle of the night. He had slept well, wrapped up in Robert and Robert had simply watched him. Aaron was fast becoming a problem though, because he couldn’t let go of him any more. Losing Aaron wasn’t an option.

* * *

Aaron returned to his dorm to see everyone asleep apart from James, who looked at him as if disappointed in him. James nodded to the door, and Aaron didn’t ask but followed him out into the corridor where they had a conversation in low voices.

“I’m trying not to ask where you’re vanishing all night,” James started.

“Then don’t,” Aaron said, shrugging like it was easy. “Come on, we’re all leaving today. Don’t make it a big thing.”

“What are you doing?” James said. “I’m covering your arse when the lads ask what the hell is going on.”

“I’m going home,” Aaron said, purposefully avoiding the question.

“Aaron, if you’re doing what I think you’re doing…” James started.

“You’ll what?” Aaron asked, staring at him straight on. “Come on, you’ll do what? Really threaten me with something rather than vague statements.”

“Why are you being like this?” James said. “I’m a friend, Aaron.”

“Then leave it,” Aaron warned.

“Do you really want everyone to know?” James asked. “I’ll be with you if you do, but there’s a reason you’re sneaking out nightly. You’re not leaving the base either, you’ve not once been reprimanded for breaking curfew.”

“Just say it,” Aaron said. “Say whatever it is you thinks going on.”

“Are you sleeping with one of the other guys?” James asked quietly. Aaron didn’t deny it, didn’t want to. Plus sleeping with a soldier at the same rank as himself would look far better than his commanding officer.

“It’s none of your business,” Aaron said.

“That’s not a no,” James said. “Come on, can’t you trust me?”

“I don’t want to be out,” Aaron said firmly. “Not here, not with so many men in one building. You know how they‘ll be.”

“I won’t say anything,” James said, looking into his eyes, Aaron maybe believed he wouldn’t. “But you’ve got to be more careful. If I notice it, others will too.”

“All right, I’ve got it,” Aaron said.

“You okay?” James asked.

“Depends. Are we still okay?” Aaron asked.

“Course,” James said. He slapped Aaron on the back, and Aaron let out the breath he’d been holding for what felt like hours.

“Are you sure?”

“Why wouldn’t we be?” James said, the smile seemed genuine and Aaron relaxed. It didn’t matter much at the moment because they were all being discharged, to go home for a couple of weeks, but it would matter when they went to Afghanistan. Then it would very much matter.

* * *

Aaron got the train to Harrogate, then hitched back to the village. He hadn’t told his mum he was coming home, he didn’t really want the fuss (i.e welcome home party with too many Dingles) so he was coming unannounced. He was dropped off about two miles outside the village, and could see it sitting down the hill, looking very chocolate boxy. He settled his kit on his back and walked down into the village under the sunshine. It felt good to stretch his legs after being cramped in a train, then a car for most of the day.

He saw a few strangers before he got to the pub, but then he opened the door and saw his mum behind the bar.

“Aaron!” she almost squealed, running around the bar to give him a massive hug. “I didn’t know you were coming home!”

“Thought I’d surprise you,” Aaron said happily. Aware they were attracting attention, Aaron nodded to the backroom. “How about you bring me through a pint?”

“It’s so good to see you!” Chas said, grinning from ear to ear. Aaron smiled at her, feeling the same. It’d been too long since he’d seen her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This could be the last update for 2 weeks or so. I have GOT to focus on the Big bang challenge, and my fic needs a lot of work, so I'm going to have to shelve this one for a little bit (plus I'm going away). 
> 
> It was also pointed out to me that the army is not an all male environment as I've written here, but I think I've gone too deep into this story to change it, so I'm going to leave it as it is, well away from reality. That said, enjoy!

Robert looked at the closed door to the house, taking a couple of moments to brace himself. He could hear voices behind the door and he hadn’t told his dad he was coming home. He reached for the latch and opened the door. They were having dinner, Jack, Diane, Andy and Katie. Because that gathering of people wouldn’t cause friction, would it?

“Robert!” Diane gasped. “We weren’t expecting you, were we?” she asked, her eyes sliding to Jack.

“No, we weren’t,” Jack said. “Been discharged, have you?” he grumbled, which made the shame crawl up Robert’s spine, completely undeserved.

“I’m on a couple of weeks holiday,” Robert said. “I’ve not been dismissed which I’m sure you’re devastated by,” he added sarcastically.

“Come on, play nicely,” Diane said tiredly.

“Welcome home,” Jack said with a nod, which was as good as it was going to get, Robert knew. 

“Any food going?” Robert asked, dropping his kit bag and Andy shoved the pot of stew in his direction.

“Thanks.”

“So… how’s it going? You’re a captain, right?” Andy asked.

“Yes,” Robert said, digging into the stew. He hadn’t realised how hungry he was until he’d started eating. “It’s going well, we’re going to Afghanistan in about two or three weeks.” That sentence was enough to turn the atmosphere cold in the room and Robert shrugged.

“It’s good to see you,” Jack said, and Robert looked up, a slight smile on his face.

“Thanks.”

* * *

 

Later that night, Diane had gone down to the pub for a shift, Andy and Katie had gone to their cottage which left Jack and Robert alone, some football match on the telly that Robert wasn’t really paying attention to. But anything for a quiet life while he was here. He silently wondered if he could text Aaron, or if that was too soon verging on desperate. He got his phone out of his pocket and started typing away, not really intending on sending the message.

“Have you made any friends during the army?” Jack asked.

Robert considered this. “Maybe one,” he said. “I’m the boss, I’m not really in the business of making friends.”

“Do the soldiers listen to you?”

“Mostly,” Robert said.

“Good lad,” Jack said. Robert pressed send, the message going to Aaron, while he glowed from that. It would probably be the best praise he’d get, and once they got past the novelty of having Robert home, he expected snide remarks and sarcastic comments. But it was a good start.

* * *

Robert waited outside the back door of the pub, trying to almost melt into the stone wall, waiting for Aaron to undo the latch when the coast was clear. This was dangerous, but Robert wanted to see him, and judging by how quickly Aaron had replied, he felt the same. Robert heard the click of the door, saw a thin chink of light spilling out onto the pavement and pushed the door open. He saw Aaron in jeans and a T shirt, his hair ungelled and the sight took Robert’s breath away for a moment.

“Risky, meeting here,” Robert said.

“Shut up and go upstairs,” Aaron muttered, a smile on his face. Robert didn’t fancy being caught by Chas or Diane either, so he followed Aaron’s word, Aaron leading the way to his bedroom. When they were finally alone, Robert felt like he could fully breathe again.

“Tense homecoming?” Aaron asked.

“It’s always tense,” Robert said, closing his eyes for a moment. “I’m so glad to see you.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said, quietly. “Me too.” Aaron leaned forward and kissed into Robert’s neck, and he relaxed. “Get undressed,” Aaron said, his fingers fiddling with the hem of Robert’s T shirt. “I want to touch you.” Aaron said it so simply and Robert kissed him gently, briefly.

It didn’t take long for them to get into bed, holding each other. They were speaking with their bodies rather than words, they didn’t really need to talk. Aaron wrapped his arms around Robert, not really wanting him to leave. Robert didn’t want to go anywhere either. Robert kissed him, feather light kisses along his jaw which made Aaron almost melt into him.

“You alright?” Aaron asked gruffly.

“Yeah,” Robert said. “Why?”

“You’re being all… I don’t know,” he said. “Can’t place it.”

“I’m worried about Afghanistan,” Robert admitted.

Aaron tightened his arms around him. “You’ve been before,” he said levelly.

“Yes, but last time I had nothing to lose. This time I do,” Robert said. Aaron wondered for a split second if he was talking about him, until Robert confirmed it. “I have _someone_ to lose.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Aaron said.

“I couldn’t handle it,” Robert said. “If anything happens to you, I couldn’t cope.”

“I don’t know if I should be offended that you don’t think I can handle myself, or flattered that I’ve made an impression on you,” Aaron said. Robert didn’t answer and Aaron shifted in bed, wrapping his thighs around Robert’s body, entwining them closer. Robert looked at him, couldn’t look anywhere else. “I’m not going anywhere, Rob.”

“I know,” he said, though Robert didn’t seem completely convinced. “I’m just… God, Aaron, I’m falling for you so bad.”

“I know what you mean,” Aaron said. “I’ve never… felt like this about anyone.” He always felt a bit uncomfortable, a bit too vulnerable when talking about his feelings. Robert stroked his hair gently and Aaron knew this wasn’t something to be used against him.

“We’re meant to be on a break from the army,” Robert said, trying to bring the subject to happier things.

“You’re right,” Aaron said. “Let’s just forget all this until we have to think about it.” Robert nodded and pulled Aaron as close as he could get.

* * *

In the morning, they overslept. Robert could hear someone in the kitchen downstairs, and he winced. How was he going to get out of this one?

“I’ll go down in the kitchen,” Aaron said, hurriedly getting dressed. “I’ll send you a text if mum’s busy and you can sneak out.”

“Thanks,” Robert said, though he was wary. Aaron realised that away from the army, he himself didn’t care as much if people knew he was gay. It didn’t really matter, people would think whatever they would think anyway. For Aaron, it didn’t matter when it didn’t have the potential to be a life and death scenario. In the army it did.

“You seem calm,” Robert noted.

“It doesn’t really matter, does it?” Aaron said. “We’re adults, we can do what we want.”

“You’re not serious,” Robert said, his face completely blank with shock.

“Clearly it matters for you,” Aaron said.

“I can’t do this right now,” Robert said, shaking his head. “Just get me out of here.” Aaron nodded and zipped his hoodie up before going downstairs.

Chas sat at the table in a dressing gown, a mug of coffee in front of her, doing her makeup. “Morning,” she said, her tone shining with disapproval. Right, she’d heard something of last night then. Aaron quickly hit send on the text message to Robert, so he’d leave. Chas didn’t look as if she’d be moving any time soon. 

“Hi,” Aaron said, sticking some bread in the toaster.

“You had a good night, then?” Chas said.

“Actually, yeah, now that you mention it. I did.” They heard the footsteps down the stairs and Chas looked at Aaron pointedly. “Just… leave it mum.” The door shut and Aaron sighed.

“I don’t mean to pry,” Chas said. “But…”

“But you're going to. Knew that was coming,” Aaron said under his breath.

“Who were you with last night?” Chas asked.

“None of your business.” Aaron looked at the toaster, wishing it would hurry up.

“Aaron, were you with a man?” Aaron decided he didn’t really need toast, and the café was just down the street. Thankfully he could feel his wallet in his jeans pocket, so he just left. It was simply easier.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this has been a while, I didn't mean to leave it this long! Life just happens, right? Anyway, for anyone still reading this, thanks for sticking with it, and I hope it's not going to be as long for the next chapter! Enjoy!

Aaron had gone all out for the full English breakfast at the café, and it had just arrived the same second his mum walked through the door. Aaron sighed and speared a mushroom with his fork, not in the mood for this. “I should have known I couldn’t shake you," he said darkly.

“I don’t want to fight,” Chas said quickly. “I’m not here to wind you up.” Aaron snorted because he doubted that. “Are you gay?”

“Yeah.” Chas looked surprised, Aaron felt surprised himself that he’d just said it. But he wasn’t embarrassed or ashamed and it felt easier than constructing some lie especially as he’d enjoyed his night with Robert. “Just… don’t make it a big deal. It’s not a big deal, it’s fine.” Chas simply looked at him, not knowing what to say. “I’m fine, I’m not struggling to come to terms with it, it’s just… it just is. Okay mum?”

“Aaron…” Chas started. Aaron stared at her before cutting up his bacon, waiting for her to construct some kind of thought, he was hungry after all. Aaron felt pretty sure that no one could overhear them, Arthur and Laurel were having a loud argument one table over that was taking all of Brenda’s focus, but Aaron realised he didn’t overly care. Did he want people in the army to find out? No. But here, home? He felt surprisingly okay with that. “How long?”

“How long what?” Aaron said.

“How long have you known?” Chas asked. “That you’re….”

“Gay,” Aaron said bluntly. “A few years.” Chas looked appalled.

“Years?” she asked faintly.

“I didn’t want to shout about it,” Aaron said, shrugging. Chas spluttered a little and Aaron focused on not looking at her as he continued to eat.

“I love you,” Chas said quietly, surprising him. “Come here.” Aaron let her hug him, even though they were in public and closed his eyes for a second in his mothers embrace.

“All right, get off,” Aaron said, when he’d had enough. Chas pulled back, smiling, even though Aaron could tell it was somewhat forced. “Are you… can I?”

“What?” Aaron asked.

“Are you not telling anyone?”

“Mum, if I was that concerned about everyone finding out, I wouldn’t have brought a man home while the pub was filled with customers, okay?” Aaron said. “I don’t want anyone in the army to know, though. It would just make life more complicated than it needs to be, okay?”

“What about the family?” Chas asked.

“You can tell them,” Aaron said. “Anything that saves me any awkward conversations is fine with me.”

“Are you sure?” Chas asked.

“I’m not ashamed,” Aaron said. “I was, a long time ago, but not anymore.”

“Who’s the guy?”

“None of your business,” Aaron said, for the first time having a hardness in his voice. “I mean it, don’t push.”

“Okay,” Chas said, squeezing his hand on the table. Aaron appreciated it, but he was tired of talking about it.

“Can I finish my breakfast now?” Chas nodded.

* * *

Aaron went for a walk up to the top of the village, enjoying the fresh air and trying to clear his head. He knew his mother, he knew the news about him would be all over the village in a few days, if not a few hours. He didn’t want to hide, but he also wasn’t overly keen about being confronted by his extended family either, so he was putting it off. He leaned against a gate, realising he was on the Sugdens land. He’d not intended to be here, it’s just where his feet had taken him. He could see Jack’s house from here, sitting at the bottom of the fields. Weird, really, that he’d walked towards Robert’s home without even thinking about it.

He heard a tractor coming and he watched as it wove it’s way up the lane behind him. Andy was driving and he nodded at him as he carried on past him. Within the next five minutes, a second tractor appeared, and he recognised the blond hair instantly. Robert pulled the vehicle to a stop and opened the door. “What’re you doing here?”

“Free country,” Aaron said with a shrug. Robert turned the engine off and got out of the tractor. “I thought you’re meant to be on holiday.”

Robert stood next to Aaron by the fence, looking over the countryside. “Yeah. Doesn’t stop dad giving me stuff to do for the farm, though.” Aaron kept his mouth shut. “You okay? After this morning, I mean.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said, turning slightly so he could look at him. “Mum er… my mum knows about me.” Robert looked alarmed. “Me, not you. She heard last night, and she asked me. I didn’t want to lie so I told her I’m gay. It’s not like it’s going to get back to the army from here, is it?”

“How are you?” Robert asked after a moment, taking that in.

“I think I’m okay,” Aaron said. “It felt good to not be hiding it.” Robert blanched. “I’m not saying this to make you say it, to make you come out” Aaron said. “That didn’t even occur to me, this is about me, not us.”

“I know,” Robert said. He moved closer to Aaron and gripped his hand, squeezing tightly. “I can’t. With my father, my family, I just can’t, I’m sorry.”

“Sh,” Aaron said. “Don’t be sorry. This is about me. That’s it.” Robert slowly moved, his hands curling around Aaron’s hips keeping them anchored together. There was no one here, but a casual observer wouldn’t notice anything odd. Or not until Robert pulled him close, kissing him softly and briefly. Then he looked around, like he was checking they hadn’t been seen.

“I want you,” Robert said.

“You had me last night,” Aaron said lowly, making Robert smile.

“I was heading up to the barn on the top field,” Robert said. “Got to move the silage. It’ll be quiet. And private.”

“Anyone would think you’re propositioning me,” Aaron teased lightly. Robert slowly trailed his fingertips down Aaron’s thigh, before back up.

“That’s one way of putting it.” Robert took a few steps back and nodded towards the tractor. Aaron smiled, but got in anyway. He couldn’t say no.

* * *

Afterwards, Aaron found himself laying on the hay, looking up at a creaking roof and feeling incredibly comfortable and tired. He could easily drift off to sleep here. His phone buzzed and he saw a message from Adam, which he ignored. Plenty of time later. Robert was moving some of the hay bales around, presumably what he was meant to be doing while they were otherwise occupied.

“I love you.” Aaron knew Robert had heard him, because he’d stopped moving. There was no noise at all in the barn and Aaron kept his eyes closed. He didn’t want to feel the rejection he could sense coming off Robert in waves.

“That complicates things,” Robert said.

“Not really, it doesn’t,” Aaron said, calmly, even though his heart had dropped like a stone that Robert hadn’t said it back. “It’s already complicated.”

“Look at me.” Aaron shifted, sitting up and looking at Robert who stood opposite him. Robert got onto the floor, a little undignified. “I am falling for you, but I’m not going to tell you... that until I’m sure I mean it,” Robert said calmly. Aaron could feel his defences rising, even if what Robert said made sense, and he wanted to just get out of there, something Robert could obviously read in his body language. “No, don’t do that, don’t shut me out,” Robert said, a hand curved around Aaron’s face. “I’m being honest with you.”

“I should go,” Aaron said. “Can’t be caught here with you after all.”

“Aaron,” Robert said, but he didn’t stop. It hurt, to put yourself out there and feel rejection. Why had he opened his mouth?

“We’re okay,” Aaron said. He kissed Robert in goodbye, a soft brief touch of lips, and then left the barn, thinking on the long walk back down to the village.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, another update! Sorry it took so long, my computer ate the better version of this chapter, so I lost heart with it. It's a bit of an in between ish chapter, but I hope it's enjoyed anyway! Thanks for sticking with it!

Aaron walked in the front door of the pub, which he realised about two seconds later was a big mistake, and he should have come in through the back. Everyone was looking at him, or at least that’s what it felt like. Aaron buried his hands in his pockets and hurried through to the back, but before he could get around the bar, Cain blocked his way.

“Hey. Fancy a pint?” Cain looked uncomfortable, almost like he was squirming, but he was standing his ground.

“Are you buying?” Aaron said shortly, not one to turn down a free drink.

“Er… yeah.”

“Go on then,” Aaron said. Cain nodded at Chas who started pouring, Aaron taking a table at the very back of the pub. “Mum been blabbing then?” Aaron said shortly, feeling the stares from his family as Cain set their drinks down.

“She mentioned… something,” Cain said.

“I’m still the same person I was yesterday,” Aaron said. “I don’t want that to change.”

“It won’t,” Cain said.

“I meant about the way you lot treat me,” Aaron said, nodding at the pub in general. “I know what you can be like and I’m just… tired of hiding it, I’m so tired, Cain.”

“I just wanted you to know it’s fine,” Cain said, taking a sip of his pint.

“I know it’s fine,” Aaron said pointedly. “Wasn’t asking your permission.”

“Aaron, I’m not trying to get your back up, here,” Cain said, looking lost. “I just want…”

“I know,” Aaron said, relenting. “I need some sleep though, it’s been a long day. Thanks for the drink.” Aaron took his pint through to the back and breathed in deeply when he was on his own.

* * *

At dinner that night, Robert wanted to ignore the conversation very badly.

“I’ve heard rumours about that lad in the pub,” Jack said darkly. “Gay, can you imagine!”

“Jack, don’t gossip,” Diane chastised lightly.

“Honestly, I thought the army was meant to beat that kind of thing out of you,” Jack said. “What a disappointment that would be.”

“Aaron’s a good bloke,” Andy said. “It‘s not the 1940s anymore. So what?”

“I’m just saying,” Jack said. “It’s not a great example.” 

“I need some fresh air,” Robert said.

“We haven’t finished dinner yet,” Diane said.

“It turns out I’m not hungry.” Robert grabbed his jacket and left, wanting to be on his own. He couldn’t take any more of his father. He only ever could be civil to Jack in small doses, it’s why the army at first had seemed like such an attractive option. Robert walked up to the field where the sheep were grazing in the last of the daylight and he leant against the fence, thinking. It was reasons like this that he could never be honest with his family. He knew exactly what his dad would think. He'd just heard a taster of it after all.

“Room for one more?” He saw Andy, who settled next to him against the fence.

“Won’t Katie be wondering where you are?” Robert said. “Staying for dinner, then out here with me.”

“She’s not home,” Andy said.

“Ah,” Robert said. That explained why Diane insisted he stay for dinner. “I saw your face. When dad started on…”

“Leave it,” Robert said.

“Robert, are you gay?”

“No,” Robert said firmly.

“All that stuff with Katie when we were kids, was that just to hurt me? Did you never feel anything for her at all, you just wanted to mess around?”

“I loved her once,” Robert said. “Yeah, originally I wanted just to hurt you for mum, but that’s not what it was in the end.”

“Tell me, Rob,” Andy said. “I’m not going to judge you.”

“Of course you will,” Robert said. “You’re far too much like dad.”

“So you _are_ gay?” Andy pushed.

“No,” Robert said. “I’m bi. I like both.” He hadn’t planned to say it and he didn’t like the scowl on Andy’s face. “Look I know you’re lamenting the fact that we’re not in the middle ages, but you must have heard of bisexuality.” Robert was pushing because he felt vulnerable, but he couldn't stop.

“Robert…”

“And I don’t want dad to know,” Robert said. “You’re the only one I’ve told, so if he finds out, I will kill you. I’m in the army, I’d know how to bury you with no one finding out.”

“You don’t have to threaten me,” Andy said. “Anyway, I can hold my own, you won’t get the better of me.” Robert huffed, wondering if a fight was brewing.

“Andy, I need it kept quiet.” Robert shook his head. “I never should have told you. Just do me the biggest favour of your life and forget I said anything.”

“Robert, just… why do you get so defensive with me?”

“A lifetime of experience,” Robert said darkly.

“I won’t say anything,” Andy said.

“If dad finds out, I’ll know where it’s come from,” Robert said. "Who blabbed."

“Come on,” Andy said. “I can keep a secret.”

“Only when it’s cutting me out of the loop,” Robert said bitterly.

“Look, Robert it’s none of my business,” Andy said. “I was just… I don’t know, acting all brotherly.” Robert sighed. “Are you happy?”

“Sometimes,” Robert said. “I’m happier away from here though. In the army… everyone knows where they stand. I like it like that, away from the village gossip. You forget what Emmerdale’s like until you come back here and then… it hits you all over again.”

“Do you miss it though?” Andy asked. “Home?”

“Sometimes,” Robert said again.

“Why did you tell me?” Andy asked.

“Because… I just get so exhausted of hiding it all the time, every moment of the day.” Robert shrugged. “I didn’t plan it. Please… I need no one to know.”

“Fine,” Andy said. “I’ll keep my mouth shut.”

“Thank you,” Robert said, feeling torn between being an idiot for opening his mouth, and relief for having finally voiced it. One thing he needed right now was Aaron. “Go home, Andy,” Robert said. “I’m going to go to bed.” Andy nodded and Robert headed towards the pub. He planned on going to bed, just not his own. He hadn’t text Aaron to let him know he was coming, but it was late. He figured he could get away with it, and if anyone saw him sneaking in, he could say he was picking up something for Diane that she’d left at work.

The back door was unlocked and he let himself in, going up the stairs to Aaron’s room. He opened the door and found Aaron plugging his phone charger in. Aaron looked at him in confusion and Robert just shook his head, pulling him in for a kiss. Aaron didn’t respond at once, but then he did eagerly.

“Shh,” Robert said. “I need you.”

“You didn’t message me,” Aaron said with a hint of a question.

“No,” Robert said. “I still need you.” Aaron moved Robert’s hands, guiding them to his belt and nodded in understanding. All things considered, it had been a very long day for them both.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been nearly a month since I've updated this, I'm so sorry! I'll try not to leave it so long next time, I don't mean to neglect this! Thank you to those who're sticking with it!

Aaron slept right through to the next morning after sex with Robert. So, the next time he was conscious was when Robert was towelling himself off after a quick shower, the sunlight coming through the window of the pub.

“Brave,” Aaron said, indicating Robert’s wet skin.

“No one was up,” Robert said lowly. “I can be quick.”

“I’ve noticed,” Aaron said cheekily, making Robert smile.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy last night,” Robert said, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking up at Aaron.

“I did,” Aaron said. “I was… wondering why, though. You seemed…” Needy was what Aaron wanted to say but he didn’t quite dare to.

“Andy asked me last night if I was gay,” Robert said.

“Oh?” Aaron said very neutrally before sitting up in bed and looking at Robert’s face. “And… what did you say?”

“I told him I was bi,” Robert said, his voice shaking just a little. “It’s the first person I’ve really ever told that. Besides you, I mean. I just… didn’t plan it, the words just came out.”

“How do you feel?” Aaron asked.

“Okay,” Robert said. “A bit scared he’ll tell dad, but… I think I needed to say it. I think I needed to acknowledge to someone what you mean to me.”

“What’s that?”

“I think you know,” Robert said, putting his palm against Aaron’s thigh, the duvet stopping him from touching directly.

“I’d still like to hear it from you,” Aaron said, trying to push but also not trying to push at the same time.

“I’m falling for you,” Robert said softly. “You know that.” Aaron desperately wanted to hear that Robert loved him, but he also could feel how vulnerable Robert was by going this far in the first place. “I am.”

“I know,” Aaron said. “Come here.” Aaron pulled Robert’s body against his, warm and damp from his shower, tasting clean and almost brand new.

“I’ve just washed,” Robert said. “I can’t get into it right now.”

“Oh, that’s charming, that is,” Aaron said with a snort. “Am I wearing off on you?”

Robert smirked, kissed Aaron again and reached under the duvet, making Aaron’s breath hitch as he started stroking. “I said I’d just had a shower, I said nothing about you.” Aaron closed his eyes and arched his hips upwards when all too soon Robert stopped.

“Tease.”

“You know I’m good for it,” Robert said, kissing him again.

“I er… hate to break the mood but yesterday I got my call up papers,” Aaron said, changing the subject to something more important. At least immediately more important.

“I know,” Robert said. “How long…?”

“A week,” Aaron said. “Don’t you… aren’t you flying out with me?”

“No,” Robert said. “I’m a Captain, I won’t be going out with the soldiers. You’ll have a few days without me.”

“But…” Aaron started. “You will be being assigned to our unit, won’t you?” Aaron hated to think of the possibility that he wouldn’t. Robert wasn’t the reason he signed up to the army, but the thought of being parted from him now wasn’t an appealing one.

“Yes,” Robert said softly, well aware of his fear. “They don’t like to split the team feeling up unless they have to. So I will be with you soon, don’t worry.”

“When are you leaving?”

“Probably about three days after you,” Robert said. “It won’t be long.”

“Good,” Aaron said. “Because… I’m gonna miss you.” Robert’s eyes lit up. “Don’t make it a big thing. Actually, I’m not going to miss you, I’m going to appreciate the peace and quiet.” Robert laughed and kissed him again before starting to dress. They both heard a noise from the room next door, and Aaron mouthed “mum” and Robert took the hint.

“Bye,” Robert said, kissing him on the mouth before he left.

* * *

 

Robert had found himself roped in to doing more farm work alongside Andy while Jack did the accounts. Robert personally thought he’d have done a much better job with the books, but Jack wouldn’t trust him with that kind of thing. Driving a tractor, however…

Andy was ploughing the field when Robert had had enough. This was meant to be a holiday, so he sat on the top of the fence, watching Andy work.

“Oi!” Andy shouted at him when the tractor got near. “You could do some work too. It’d take half the time with both of us.”

“Stop looking at me like I’ve grown a second head then,” Robert said. Andy looked down. “I’m still the same person I was last week, last year. You don’t have to make a big thing out of it.”

“I’m trying not to,” Andy said. “Just… trying to see if you’re all right.”

“Besides dad making me work for free during my time off, I’m fine,” Robert said as if daring him to push further. Andy wisely didn’t. But he kept his word and said nothing to Jack, and for that Robert was very grateful.

* * *

The time rushed by. Chas wanted to spend as much time with Aaron as she could, going between weepy and chirpy happy quicker than Aaron could follow. When she tearfully wailed “this could be the last time I ever see him!” to Cain, it took about two hours to calm her down. He didn’t want her to worry more than was normal for an army parent, but the news wasn’t helping with reports of more disasters each day and “deployment of extra troops imminent.”

With Robert being swallowed up by farm work, and Aaron busy with his family, it was the day before Aaron was due to leave far too soon. Robert text him with a request to meet up at the barn on the top field, and Aaron replied quickly. He hadn’t needed to think about it, but then, Robert had known that.

Aaron hiked up there, feeling that borrowing a car would ask too many questions, and by the time he got to the barn, he was freezing. He saw Robert sitting on a hay bale, smiling as he came through the door. “Last goodbye kinda thing?” Aaron asked. “I think my bedrooms warmer.”

“Your bedroom also has your mother on the other side of the wall, which is a bit of a turn off,” Robert said.

“You’ve not complained before,” Aaron said.

“But tonight I want you moaning for me. We’re two miles from the next living person, and I want the privacy.” Robert walked towards him and put his hands on Aaron’s hips. “We’ve never had that. Not at the base, not in the village, we can only have that here.”

Aaron couldn’t argue, he seemed to have lost his voice. The freedom to be able to moan and call out Robert's name without worrying that someone was going to catch them, or hear them being too loud… yeah, that was a turn on. Aaron allowed himself to be kissed, getting lost in Robert’s lips and taste. In fact, getting lost in Robert was what he spent a lot of his time doing these days.

* * *

“Take care of yourself,” Robert said, caught between sleeping and waking, the languid satisfaction of sex seeping into his bones. “Until I’m there to watch your back.”

“Yeah, I’ll manage,” Aaron said gruffly, kissing Robert’s perfect jaw. “But I like you looking out for me.”

“Always.”

* * *

 

Aaron tried to leave home early in the morning the next day, because he didn’t want the fuss his mum would create, the tears, the pleading for him to come home safe. It was expected, but he could also have done without it.

In the end though, he didn’t manage to sneak out. Chas didn’t go too overboard either, hugging him and telling him to take care of himself and not do anything too stupid, which Aaron promised her.

“Bye mum,” and Aaron nodded at her, getting a taxi to the airport, army camouflage feeling tight across his skin after a few weeks not wearing it. He was on his way.


End file.
